oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
