Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
