if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
