Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
