just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
