Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
