what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize