also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
