I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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