ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He has the fingertips of a God
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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