The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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