Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
