so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
