We're like a lot better than the average bears
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
