I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
