We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
