Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
