she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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