he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
this will be a night to untag.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
