Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
