You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
