You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
