I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
