Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
