I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
