fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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