omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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