Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
