You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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