he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
