Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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