You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
