I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
