My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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