I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
