Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
