you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
