the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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