no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
