Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize