Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
