she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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