I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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