Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
