it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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