My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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