i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
