Don't you send me to vm
My liver just broke up with me...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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