like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
