Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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