Nicole vs. Life
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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