i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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