do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
