Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
