Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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