barbara walters just said penis...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
