ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
