My room smells like vodka and shame
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i think i have two assholes
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize
